Divorce. Is this the only way?

Despite the truth about the sanctity of marriage, divorce become a commonplace in many societies and has increased even among Christians. Too often, it is the bitter fruit of anger and failure. Divorce is an ugly word and a shattering experience, but the victims are not ugly or evil people, especially the children. Couple needs to consider that the cure of most marital troubles does not lie in divorce. If you are married and you and your spouse experiencing difficulties, remember that the remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce or separation.

Studies show that the main causes of divorce among couples are failure by husband and wives in discharging their responsibilities, the others were low grounding in religion, interference by third parties, difference in culture, sexual problems, money and careers.

Marriage is a very difficult institution to hold together. It is a hectic life. It's stressful. But successful marriage is possible...the key is communication. Ask about your finances, which church to go, how many times you need to visit your relatives every year, how many children you both want, things like these can cause problems and disagreements and they can add up quickly and lead to divorce. But too often, couples don't do it too soon enough. Marriage takes a lot of give and take, a lot of loyalty to the other person and a lot of love and caring.

So, why people get divorced when most common reasons are preventable? The top reasons were 'lack of commitment', 'too much conflict and arguing', and infidelity - reasons that can be addressed by counseling and interventions included in various healthy marriages.

Think of what is the effect of divorce on your children's lives. It is a stressful experience for all children regardless of age or developmental level. The pain they experience composed of a sense of vulnerability as the family disintegrates, a grief reaction to the loss of intact family, loss of non-custodial parent, a feeling of anger as the disruption of the family and strong feeling of powerlessness, but one of the most profound effects is in the impact on a child's later marriage.

The scriptures counsel against divorce generally and advise husbands and wives to love each other in righteousness (Matt 19:3-9). Think of your marriage vows, the sweet memories of courtship, and the gifts God has given you in your marriage: your loved ones and your children. Afterall, it's worth saving your family and giving up your pride.